Do you have a love-hate relationship with summer when it comes to your kids? Especially your teens?

If you answered yes, you are not alone! I get this a lot from the parents I work with.

Summer used to be the ice cream truck, spending hours in the pool, and riding our bikes around the neighborhood.

Now it’s feeling torn between work and being there for our kids, logistical nightmares of getting kids to a different camp every week and spending the whole summer feeling guilty that our kids are spending too much time on their screens.

Are You Your Kid’s Cruise Director?

Now that we are parenting 24/7, it can feel like we are responsible for engaging our kids 24/7.

What if we didn’t? What if we left children to their own devices so they could discover learning on their own? What if by doing so, we were actually helping our kids develop some important independence and autonomy?

My Child Wants More Independence Than I am Comfortable Giving

How do you decide what is an appropriate level of freedom and independence for your child? How do you find the balance between keeping him safe and learning things on his own? We can’t teach our kids to make good judgements about decisions if we never give them the space to make decisions independently. On the other hand, it is your job to provide limits that will keep your kids from going too far off course.

Parenting, Setting limits, TrustElisabeth StittApril 9, 2020independence, communication, responsibilityComment

Got Stress? Your Kids Do. And It Is Keeping Them From Performing at Optimal Levels

The levels of stress our kids are feeling today is part of the reason levels of anxiety and depression are sky rocketing. But parents can help kids choose healthy stress and assure they have enough downtime to push the reset button, so they can perform optimally.

10 Things to Say No To (to Avoid Parenting Overwhelm and Burnout)

In a piece for the New York Times, Pooja Lakshmin opines, “if you’re a parent who’s at your wits’ end, instead of beating yourself up for your failure to self-care, try shortening your family to-do list and setting some boundaries." This is good advice, of course, but she doesn't give any concrete advice on how to shorten the family to-do list. I got thinking about that and came up with this list for parents of new to elementary school kids. (In the comment section below, tell me what are the things that you say no to.)

3 Tips for Deciding What Extracurricular Activities to Enroll Your Kids In

One of the reasons that we are seeing anxiety and depression increase at such alarming rates is because children are so over programmed that they do not get the downtime they need. Additionally, getting kids to their additional activities adds stress to the whole family system. Parents feel a lot of pressure to provide their kids enriching opportunities, but that learning is coming at a very high cost.

When is a Demand for a Popsicle Not Really a Demand for a Popsicle?

We get thrown as parents when our kids ask (demand!) something that they know we are going to say no to. Have we ever said yes to a popsicle for breakfast? No! So why would they even think to ask? Read to find out .

How to Bring Out the Best in Your Kids

Parents often worry that their kids aren’t motivated to do anything beyond play video games or post on social media. The truth of the matter is is that there is a lot in kids’ daily lives that works to squash personal motivation. Here are some tips parents can use to rekindle their child’s natural eagerness to interact with the world and to take pride in what they do.

How One Dad Rebuilt Trust with His Daughter Even After She Broke the Rules

Every once in a while I publish a guest post—either because the person’s expertise in a given area is much more sophisticated than mine or because they offer a perspective I cannot. In this blog, dad Tyler Jacobson shares how he handled it when his 13 year old daughter broke some big family rules. I especially love the understanding he shows his daughter as well as the problem solving, all while keeping her accountable for her poor choices.

What's Your Plan for That?

Are you concerned that you are a helicopter or lawn mower parent? Do you know that you are one but don’t know what to do differently? One of my favorite techniques for giving our kids some space and encouraging some independent thinking is What’s your plan for that? Instead of mapping out how our child should tackle a homework assignment or chore or even a conflict with a friend, we give the problem to them for consideration. Of course, if they are floundering too much, we step in and help with some course correction (but resist the urge to take over!)

Reigning the Crazy by Limiting Your Kids' Activities

In talking to parents this summer, one of the comments I have heard a lot is some theme or variation on how much better the children’s behavior is during the summer compared to the school year. In other words, children who have enough downtime and sleep and fewer demands put on them, are more likely to cheerfully and cooperatively engage in family life.

Children will be happier, healthier and more ready to learn with less hectic schedules and fewer demands put upon them. READ ON for some ways to create that for your kids.

Is Your Child Spoiled?

When it comes to “spoiling,” this is when I see problems:

Parents deny their children something only to give in in the face of whiny, petulant, disruptive behavior.
Parents give their children everything always, so children never learn to handle disappointment.
Parents give their children everything always, so children develop a warped sense of entitlement and fail to recognize the difference between needs and wants.

Read on to find out the solutions.

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When it comes to “spoiling,” this is when I see problems:

© 2021 Elisabeth Stitt

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